Why men have affairs?
Talk about a loaded subject that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on from ancient times. Extramarital relationships can be burdened with evils, cause heartache, and other harms. Plus you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness issue, money, age dissimilarity, religious upbringing, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, married date.
Why do people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking affairs. I am conserned typically though it is only the human state, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
In nature we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and fun, and sex makes us escape the real world for a brief period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone can turn the desire on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another person, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos people has erected against extramarital affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the fury of not only their family, but the public as well. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is extremely good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your spouse or anyone else? You will need to reduce the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest grouping, gigantic in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they feel comfy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to consider. Your savings are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An affair from time to time solves the trouble while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a frequent reason I fear. One or the other, frequently the guy is sexually neglecting his wife for a large humber of reasons. As a male I actually am grateful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “milf wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be compassion is disappeared, could be it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Maybe we have just developed separately, our general interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is conflicting of what you want. Maybe I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for financial gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.